Ggggrrr

I am having problems with my email client. Also with the other one the
computer has. ALSO with one I tried to download. Sigh. So, for now I'm
going to be using my phone because as of now all email clients are
evil!

Which is fine. I like my phone. If I had to describe
Dooley (that's what I named my phone) I would say that he is like my
extremely underpaid secretary. He even spell checks so I don't look like
a doufus. I would also say that he's flaming gay because he's wearing a
pink cover with hearts.

Seriously though, He works very hard. He keeps my music organized the
way I like so don't have to go searching for songs, he keeps track of
tmail and gmail messages separately, he lets me check my facebook at
astronomical speeds (I could have him do that to and just notify me of
what happened- but I don't know, that's just a little too personal ;) he
keeps up and notifies me for 3 IM clients! My computer can't even handle
a simple email client ha!

He takes notes when ever I need to remember something such as when im at
check out and realize I forgot some things at the store.

He tells me about upcoming birthdays and appointments. He lets me look
at any day of the week I want in his calendar. He counts my calories and
takes down journal entries. And when im bored he keeps me busy with fun
little games like bunny chow. (Connect four)

He is limitless. Even as I am making this blog I am chatting with beth
in yahoo! Extraordinary. Yup...thas about it.

Have fun!

Chronic Blogging syndrome

Is there something strange about this blog? What in the world could it be?

It finally happened; I got too lazy to get a glass of water. However, I got a camelbak. Throw a few ice cubes in and fill it up with water. Convenient, yes? Soon someone will invent an insulin pump type thing that will feed us all day. Then we don’t have to cook or even go to the store. J

 

Any-who, I went for a jog with Dixie this morning. Which actually means that I went for a mountainous bike ride and Dixie followed next to me. RUNNING! That’s hilarious. Also my cell number will be changing soon. My old one will be Shaun’s new one.

 

I called T-Mobile to inquire about their services and they told me with flex pay I don’t have to sign a contract. Which is good, because I hate those things. Anyway, they told me about my faves. It’s where you can call any 5 numbers unlimited. The woman told me, “Most people only call 5 people on a regular basis. So my faves is wonderful because you can call any number, any carrier, even a land line as a my fave. And this service is only 39.99 a month.” And I said to her, “That sounds just like my house phone…accept I only pay 35.99 and I can all any number I freakin feel like. So I’ll just take the data plan, thank you very much.” So in an effort to not get screwed by the mobile company, I will be paying just 35.99 for unlimited text, IM, and emails. So if you need to contact me on my mobile phone you will only be able to send me a text message, picture message, email, or an instant message. Which is fine with me, because I prefer it to speaking. I say less stupid crap that way. When I can read things before I send them I get chance to see just how stupid it really is, weigh it on the kitchen scale and decide whether or not to throw it in the crock pot. Yes, it’s a clever analogy. You may use it.

 

OOOOHH! I made chorizo and eggs and potatoes and pepper and salt and salsa in tortillas! Fun to eat, even more fun to say!

Ps. As for the picture, that’s not where I went. I just thought it was pretty. Everywhere I went there was a pretty view like that, but it was all paved.

 

Later!

"How to skin a cat"

Icey- exhibit "A"/ me- exhibit "B"

Don't i look like my mom? :)

I will first start my assault to your ears by telling you that 801 housing(off-base military housing) has decided to kick us out of our homes for 1-2 weeks because and i quote, "WE NEED TO PUT IN CENTRAL AIR." --This is said with an unbearable nasal/whiny sort of voice.

Now, to tell you why i am up at this ghastly hour: Because i can. he he. As you can see from what we've decided to call exhibit "A" icey cat has taken up residence on the mouse and mouse pad when ever i decide to use them. thus the vicious blog title. You see; cats cant read...

Next, I cut my bangs. I've been paying people to screw up my hair for me when i am perfectly capable of doing said Haynes act all on my own. I'll tell you how it happened. i was cleaning the clippers i use to cut Shaun's hair and saw the scissors... I GRABBED THEM AND RACED TO THE BATHROOM. WHERE I GRABBED THE BRUSH DRAMATICALLY AND BRUSHED SOME HAIR IN FRONT OF MY FACE! THEN I WHACKED IT OFF. THE END. Okay, done with all caps for now.

Shaun informed me two days ago that he felt horribly unprepared for his practical exam because he hadn't studied at all this annex. So yesterday when he took the test i was nervous all day and all night. Guess what grade he got. He got a 100%

For My birthday/valentines day, I have informed Shaun that he is getting me a bike. :) I have to tell him specifically what i want or tragic things happen. Like, this Christmas he got me an air freshener because i like when things smell nice. The wheels are turning, but he his GPS is set to speak in Hebrew... Which is kinda why i like him. If i ever get pregnant, together we'll breed a new species. His smarts, my wit, and his body. Accept for the girls who will have breasts etc...

I have also decided to learn to play the guitar. I'm going to need two however. one to play, the other one is for time Warner cable. I've decided to tell them to stick it in their ear. And then for the big Finnish, I'm going to take the second guitar and shove it IN THEIR EAR HOLE! :) We're having some problems with billing. Can you tell?

It was Kira who first inspired me to get a bike. While living with her, she let me ride her bike. and then day after day passed with me to be found at the track on the bicycle. She got tired of it and said, "get your own" :)

I expect like the last time i had a bike i wont be able to get off of it. I'll have to be careful that i don't hurt Dixie's feet. I remember at lake Alice. All the dogs feet were bleeding. Tazz's feet were so bad we had to empty Andy's pack and strap her in it to make it back down the mountain. kinda funny. poor Tazz. Some day my mother will get tired of her.... and then i can have my dog back! When we first got her, my dad took her and said here have Dixie. Then when i moved out everyone was like, no Tazz belongs to your mother.....one day...

see no one puts the dots together. Tazz and i have an understanding. There is a reason she only smiles that big for me. because i love her best. HINT HINT MOTHER...

Its funny. I need glasses because i cant see the road signs but while i was signing a check i noticed that the line where you sign is actually "AuthorizedSignature" over and over really small.I noticed this with out the aid of anything but my eyes. no eyeglasses or anything. makes you wonder....

Home sweet house

As much as i am glad to be going back to texas for christmas, I think i shall very much miss what has quickly become home. I also think that I have accidentaly planted roots here.

Hopefully when we're restationed it doesnt hurt too much.

Who ever knew you could be happy not only so far away from people you love. More surprising is that im happy in CALIFORNIA of all places. I swore never to live here because im convinced it will fall into the sea. And yet, I shall be sad to go.

I hope the next 8 or so years passes quickly so I can go back to texas and reburry my roots there. For, however much i like my current home, my heart will always live texas. And a large part of my heart lives at HEB camp. Not only did i meet and decide to marry my husband there, You know nothing of beauty until you swim across the river to "the rock" and look around.

If you asked me where i would live if i could live anywhere, it would be at HEB camp. For what ever reason, i burried roots there. Before i even met shaun i loved it there. A solem peacefulness that spoke to my soul. Even despite my bad spelling. *wink*

I think one of my fondest memories of HEB camp was the snowcone fight where danielle bit logan on the leg! no malice or anything it was just funny. It was then i realized i would never forget danielle. The fact that she bit logan was actually coinsidence.

I had hoped to take my children there but they quit going. Sad day. But someday i'll go back there.

I'll be home for Christmas!

Several things have happened since i last posted. I went to the doctor, Shaved dixie, icey-cat lost his first baby tooth, The mail lady FINALY smiled back at me, Shaun got a week long Lib-o, and i got more furnature.
Lets start at the end and work our way up shall we? lets see here... the one that wasnt on the list should probly count as the last one. I descovered a new show. I'ts called "the pretender." and its not actually a new show, but is infact quite old. 1996 or something. Still good.
Second, (or should i say sixth?) I got more furnature!!! i got a giant couch for outside, a nice wicker chair and a rug. all of theese things live on the back porch. and a kitchen table! my visiting teachers are comming tommorrow and we're going to sit at it! eeek! so exciting. That and a smelly man was selling his paintings outside biglots for $2! i got three of them. So now the walls are not quite so bare with, the painting, the blue christmas lights and some mistle toe i got at a garrage sale. Oh, i also put one of my drawings in a frame and hung that on the wall. Also, i realized we didnt have napkins so i made some! i hand sewed little roses on each of them! so cute. but my hand was soooo tired. lol. uuuh, yup that about covered the furnature.
Now then, number three/number five: shaun got a week long lib-o. And he gets his birthday off because it just happens to be in there! yay! We're going to knotts berry farm. so far we have spent it, re-descovering things like, cookies, jello, and sleep.
Next, The mail lady finnaly smiled back at me when i told her good morning!
And now, i feel we should combine two events, Icey-cat lost a tooth, and i shaved dixie bald. :D
Now then, At the doctors office. My doctor was concerned with my blood presure. for a couple days it was 144 over 94 but then it chilled back out. not sure of the cause so we're just going to keep an eye on it. I explained to her about my legs and after going over some family history, We decided to agree with aunt kay. medically speaking, the whole tarver family, are freaks of nature. any way. Next we talked about my weight. i have lost aprox 20 lbs. i am annother 20 lbs from being where i was when i got marred. Also with this next 20 lbs, i will be out of the obeese BMI (red) and into the over wieght BMI (yellow).
As far as Fertillity goes, we begin our first test on December fourth. Dr. Morrison Decided that shaun should be tested first because his is relitivley simple and mine would be rather more complicated and painful in comparison. So, time will tell.
You may have noticed my title, it seems as though i will indeed be home for christmas.
tootles!

if only...

I have a doctors appointment comming up here on thursday. Im terrified of bad news. I think i might be terrified of good news. But mostly its the bad news i think. What do you do if you find out you are incapable of procreation. I'll live sure, but what kind of life is that? I've wanted to mother my own kids for, well ever. Spawn little trouble makers to rival them all and what not. I just, sigh. I guess there is really nothing i can do either way. I could skip out on the appointment, but living in darknes is only great for a while. soon it drives you mad and you wander off a cliff looking for a flashlight. So i will go. Doctors are satists who like to see people in pain.

But what will they say?

Pray for me. I'm a little eccentric as it is. I already think about slaping pregnant ladies as i pass them, so ill need your prayers to prevent such a thing from happening. cause thats just sad.

The letter that started it all

I have been making plans to adopt. I have taken the first and most crucial part of the process. I have consented for a social worker to investigate the inner most workings of my family and decide if I am "parent material."
So I suppose it is little wonder I have not blogged in what seems to be weeks. Where as my online journal served as a cleansing tool before; a place where I could share my feelings with the void who would never judge me only listen, now seems to be a scary place. A place where I must admit true feelings and look at my self as if in a looking glass.
What can be said of raising someone else's child? Who can decide but yourself if you have the love, patience, determination, and fortitude to love a child in need as your own. I suppose you yourself cannot decide. It is simply up to the lord.
I face the question: is it possible that the reason I have not yet been able to have children because there is another child out there who desperately needs the love my husband and I can so freely give?
And if it is simply coincidence, and not some part of a huge plan, why then do I feel so compelled to do that wich I most fear?
Is in not our responsibility to care for those charged to us by heavenly father? And when others fail in their responsibilities, is it not up to us to pick up the slack and, I cant believe I'm using this cleche; feed his sheep?
I think back on what my sister said to me of foster care. And that that she DIDNT say but I understood all the same.
Should we let such things as feelings of inadequacy lead us around forever? Or should we take that first and most terrifying of steps into the darkness of the unknown and pray there is light at the end of the way?
I suppose it was a quick decision. But at the same time I have been thinking about it for years. So as I usually do, I stopped thinking about what I was sure was right and just did it. I am still frightened. But as my hero, Mary Fielding Smith, the woman I look up to when I am most in need of courage said, "I have made a step forward. And I will NOT go back."
So with those words of wisdom and a prayer in my heart, I take a deep breath and step forward. And I will NOT go back.